The holiday season promises joy but often delivers exhaustion. Our calendars overflow with obligations: parties to attend, gifts to buy, meals to prepare, decorations to arrange, family expectations to meet. We tell ourselves that if we just manage everything perfectly, we’ll finally experience the peace and joy that Christmas promises. Yet the more we grasp for the perfect holiday, the more stressed and depleted we become.
St John of the Cross offers surprisingly practical wisdom for our holiday overwhelm through his teaching on nada (nothing). Simply put, it’s about clearing away the clutter that prevents us from experiencing real joy. Here’s how to apply his wisdom to this season’s most common stress points.
The Practice of Sacred ‘No’
John of the Cross wrote: “The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union.” Translation for the holidays: saying yes to everything means saying no to peace.
This week, try this: Take out your calendar and identify three holiday commitments that drain rather than energise you. These might be:
- A party you’re attending purely out of obligation
- A decoration project that feels more like performance than pleasure
- A tradition you’ve outgrown but continue out of guilt
Give yourself permission to decline or simplify. Send a kind note: “I need to take a step back this season to spend time with family.” Most people understand; in fact, they’re probably feeling the same pressure. You cannot be fully present to what matters when you’re scattered across twenty commitments. Choose depth over breadth.
Less Stuff, More Presence
Our culture equates love with spending. We exhaust ourselves shopping, wrapping, and worrying whether gifts will land well. John challenges this: “Where there is no love, put love; and you will draw out love.”
This week, try this: Before buying another gift, pause and ask: “Am I buying this because I genuinely want to give it, or because I feel obligated? Will this item truly bring joy, or will it become clutter?” If the honest answer is obligation or clutter, consider an alternative. And here are some practical alternatives to conventional gift-giving:
- Instead of more stuff, give concert tickets, a cooking class together, a hiking trip, or a monthly coffee date. Time together outlasts any object.
- Write each person a letter expressing specific gratitude and affection. This costs nothing and becomes a treasure.
- Make a donation in someone’s name to a cause they care about. Include a card explaining the impact.
Ten Minutes of Nothing
The deepest application of nada is interior. John teaches that we must quiet the mental noise to hear God’s whisper. During the busiest season, carve out moments of deliberate emptiness.
This week, try this: Choose one regular time – before breakfast, during lunch break, or before bed – and set aside ten minutes for sacred emptiness. No phone, no list-making, no productivity. Just being. Set a timer. Close your eyes. Don’t try to pray eloquently or think holy thoughts. Simply be present. When your mind fills with to-do lists and worries, gently return to your breath, to awareness of God’s presence, to this moment. John writes: “It is clear that a person must ordinarily have two conditions in order to receive divine inspiration. One is tranquillity.” Ten minutes of tranquillity creates capacity to receive what the frantic mind misses.
The infant in the manger arrived with nothing — no palace, no wealth, no army. He came in poverty and simplicity, and that was enough. More than enough. This Christmas, John of the Cross invites you to imitate that holy simplicity. Clear away what clutters. Release what burdens. Create space for what matters.
The gift hidden in nada is this: when you stop grasping for everything, you discover that the one thing needful is already yours.
For deeper engagement with Saint John of the Cross’s wisdom for contemporary life, explore the Carmelite publications and resources available here. Discover how this great mystic’s teachings on detachment, contemplative prayer, and divine union can transform not just your holidays but your entire life.
If you feel called to more time in silence to prepare the manger of your heart for the coming of the Lord and wish to spend a weekend or a week by yourself or guided by a spiritual director, our Carmelite Priory, might be just the place for you. For more information, please click here.